The extra plate

I suppose my vision of Christmas was typical of many six years olds growing up.  I understood that Jesus was born under stressful conditions to parents who struggled and overcame hardships to provide for their family. I felt I was in good company, I too trecked long journeys with my parents during camping trips, I slept in the  car during extended traveled so I thought I must understand this carpenter fella and his wife.

My father cherished Christmas as a time to reunite with friends and family.  Still grain farming by Vergreville, we would often leave our Edmonton home for three of four days to return to the country and reunited with relatives and neighbours.  Sometimes we would open gifts at strange houses, and other times we wouldn’t get back until a day or two after Santa had already come to visit out house – it was stressful times for a six year old.  I was always anxious and focused on presents.  My sisters was more vocal  than I, and that was ok, I let her apply the pressure, but I was just as anxious to get home as she was.

The part that always bothered me about Christmas growing up even more than the delayed presents or trips through the country side Is that Dad would often open our own home up to strangers – I often though to myself – 'but Christmas is suppose to be about family!' – And here is this person I don’t even know sharing an evening with us!"   I felt like my life was invaded, and I was being intruded on.

One time it was a grubby looking character from dads work who just wouldn’t stop talking.  Another time it was an alcoholic uncle who was long rejected by the family.  He was always friendly, but he smelled funny, and gave hugs with a prickly face, And yet another time it was the obnoxious friend that even dad himself didn’t get along with very much.  I could never understand why – on this day, he would open his doors to these people. – He simply said that it was the right thing to do.

The years in which we didn’t have a guest with us dad always insisted that we set an extra plate on the end of the table -  just in case somebody showed up!  I never really understood the reasoning for this until years later.

At the age of twelve we took our first ever winter vacation out of Canada.  With a truck and camper – three kids, and a months vacation, Dad and mom decided to take the family on a winter vacation to the southern US.  We went through the Grand Canyon and down to Mexico, and by Late December we ended up at Disneyland.  All seemed to be going well and mom did the best she could to decorate the camper in festive Christmas decor to keep our spirits bright.

In annual  tradition mom was preparing twelve meatless Ukrainian dishes for our family feast on this Christmas eve.  I’m not exactly sure how it came to be, but on this night we found ourselves without a campground, or reserved place to stay.  We chuckled at first as we drove from campsite to campsite, Dad felt a little like Joseph looking for a place to stay.  At first we really weren’t too worried because we could park almost anyware – and so we did.  We ended up at a large parking lot, and we settled in for supper.  Mom had all four burners on the camper stove going,  Our tiny camper table held the five of us around twelve dishes. And a spare plate was set , as in dads tradition

Just a few minutes before we were about to start our meal, a sharp wrap on the door startled us – I was thinking “Is this the guest who comes at Christmas” – but it was not, Instead the parking lot security was here asking to leave,  At first dad begged for some time, and then he grew angry and slightly frustrated,  In the end we just complied and were forced to pack up and leave immediately.

We all held a hot dish while dad drove down the street, and again we setup to start dinner. We no longer found the humour in our situation, and the loneliness of being away from home was starting to set in.  Again we gathered around the table but this time as dad  gave thanks,  I could see a tear being shed and it suddenly hit me what it was like to be without a place to stay at Christmas and how easy it might be just to have allowed us to stay - if even for a few more minutes.

Although I was still young, and protected by the security of my parents guidance, I felt a little more connected to that carpenter on the road so many years before. I held the meaning of Christmas just a little closer in my heart, and realize why dad was always so accepting of others at Christmas.

At last nights dinner we set  an extra plate for the stranger whom might arrive at our door.  I gave thanks for the great gifts we receive, even when we do not always understand it at the time.

Go out and make it a great day
And allows allow a place in your heart for that stranger in the night
Blaine

The S.M.A.R.T. Toastmaster

It was a wonderful feeling to start a new season of Toastmaster this past September.  With a great group of seasoned speakers, and a great mix of ambitions new blood, I could feel a lot of energy in the group.  Mike Mack, a good friend and mentor that introduced me to the club in 2009 put on a goal setting session early in our season.  At one point in the session we were asked to jot down a few thoughts of what would really inspire us within toastmasters, what goals would we like to achieve, and how we might intend to get there.

When my turn came to share with the club I looked down at my chicken scratch handwriting and blurted out my thoughts. - “I would really like to achieve my competent communicators’ status by this December, and I would like to give a speech this year that has the potential to move a person to tears.”

At the time I was not sure how I was going to achieve this, I still had three speeches to give in three months, and I didn’t have a joyful or sad story that might stir emotion in anyone.  But these were my thoughts, and I had now committed myself to them within the group.

Mike provided immediate feedback to me, crediting me for making these goals ‘SMART’

Specific – Meaningful – Achievable – Realistic, and Timely. 

"Great!" He said, after explaining the meaning of the term, "you covered all the SMART objectives and you will likely achieve them." I didn’t consider it at the time, but I immediately started evaluating the SMART objectives with my own goals.  Yes they were realistic, and I did set date for completion as well as it was a good goal to set in order to move myself forward both personally and professionally

The progress of these goals never again came up during the meetings, but I could clearly hear my own voice and Mike’s feedback about achieving them replaying in my mind on a fairly regular basis.

In October I was asked to give a speech in church about a recent Mission trip I was on in Mexico.  I practiced my story on the group as part of my Speech 9 ‘Persuade with Power’ requirements.  I felt comfortable in sharing the message with my toastmaster peers, but it was in the silence of Ministic community church that I felt the power of my story, the comfort in my delivery, and the emotional impact I shared with my community.  When I looked around the room, a few eyes were moist, and several tears released.  I was not conscious of my earlier toastmaster goal at any time in my preparation or delivery of the speech, but somehow it came to be.

By late November I completed speech 10, and official claimed my Competent Communicator status and realized my second stated goal.  It is now December and I look back a little proud of my accomplishments.  Would this have happened if I did not write down or vocalize my goal?  Was it the SMART system that pushed me forward?  Or the encouragement from Mike?

I am now looking forward to the next goal setting session, creating SMART goals, and looking forward to reflecting back to the time I made them.  I believe what works for Toastmaster speeches will work in many areas of your life.

Go out and make it a great day,

Your next success is just a jotted note away,

Blaine.

Glasses that don't help me to see.

Last week I went for my annual eye exam, and I’m happy to report that my eyes are in good shape, The same mild prescription still helps with focus while I drive or sit down for  Saturdays ‘Hockey night in Canada’

I was also asked to speak this week to grade 5 students of the Lego League club at Ecole Frere Antoine.  My biomedical electronics background added insight and feedback to the students’ research on bionic vision and invasive robotics.  The questions these students asked regarding improving ones eyesight and creating a vision for the blind had me questioning the distinction we place on the difference between good eyesight, and the ability to ‘See’

Like his grandfather before, my young son would struggle with determining the difference between certain colors, Rather that label him ‘color blind’ I discounted his teachers observations, and simply told him to look for the unconventional differences. “Look for shades and tones in each color you look at – ‘SEE’ the difference” I would say, and encourage him to believe he was capable of distinguishing colors.  In time he learned to adapt by focusing on the beauty of gray tones and shades, appreciating music, and developing the skills he truly excelled at.

Aquanetta Gordon from Sacramento California took the same approach to a much greater level when her son Ben Underwood lost his eyes completely to cancer by age 3. When startled little Ben awoke from surgery, complaining from his loss of sight, Aqanetta provided great wisdom in her words. “Baby yes you can see” You can see with your hand your nose – your ears – “Baby you can still see”  And so Ben went on to develop his skills to become one of the most skilled self taught echo-locators in the world.

Ben saw the world through keen senses that many of us will never develop, by clicking his tongue and snapping his fingers Ben would create echo images and navigate his world. By developing the skills he has,  he was able to improve his life and live with the freedom of riding his bike, playing basketball, and attending a regular school.  James Ruben, Ben’s doctors says “what’s really amazing about this story is not his talent, but his attitude!”

I couldn’t agree more – sight, like all of our senses, is a gift of feedback that we must always give thanks for. Although my eyes are getting weaker, I still Ah at the sunrise, and feel joy from another’s smile.  I admire Bens attitude to see without sight.  Unfortunately Bens cancer took his life at age 17.  I believe he has left us with inspiration and a vision.  I pray that even if my eyes fail me completely,  I always keep the wisdom to SEE, and have vision.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLziFMF4DHA

Go out and make it a great day

May you see the world just a little different today.

Blaine